Sunday, November 25, 2007

Date Rape, Toys, Christmas, Alcohol, Sundays

I must have been insane to step into a store this weekend, or anytime before Christmas, but I, you know, needed food and stuff. The Super Target part was a mistake, yes. Since there's a local child I need to buy for, I fought my way to the already-decimated toy aisles. A wee blonde girl was weeping, not because of the lack of toys but because her older, toddler sister had swung her purse (?) that had $10 worth of coins in it and I guess crying is part of early concussion. I was hoping to score some good deals on the China toys, but all the recalled ones were gone. Speaking of which -- date rape drug on a toy? How fucked up is that? Why? How? (They were out of those, too.) And speaking of stupidity -- how the bloody hell did I end up in a place that doesn't sell alcohol on Sundays? I didn't even want to buy alcohol today, but dammit, what if I did? Is this not America? Am I not an adult? Why, pray tell, can adults not buy whatever legal thing they wish on Sunday? I would like an answer.

How are you -- both of you -- handling Christmas shopping this year? All Internet? All Goodwill? All stores? Combination?

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Christmas? What is that? I haven't done any shopping and intend to avoid that as much as possible.

My entire life revolves areound my little Toto and his rehearsals.

Did someone tell me to get a life? Well, I did, and I am exhausted.

I did put up some tasteful bright gaudy garish multicolored huge lights outside today. You can tell no gay men live in this house.

So there

And I am NOT your mother.

Dianne said...

I could tell from the first paragraph that you weren't my mum.

But you're someone's mum -- the third paragraph proves as much.

Profiling anonymous posters is fun!

Anonymous said...

If you really did go to Target on "Black Friday," (who the fuck thought up that moniker? I just learned what it means...) I fear for the severity of your condition. But, oh, how wonderful to see you mining the twisted paths of your mind and sharing what you find. Preposterously and unpredictably delicious. I confess to some bias, but...I am also NOT your mother. (I like the "To Tell The Truth" symmetry however.)

Dianne said...

Thanks, Anon II for the kind words (your PayPal will notice the agreed-upon bump) but oh, Anon, dear dear Anon ... I would no more have set feet in a store on Black Friday than I would have gone to Mass on a Sunday. Technically, I went to a Super Target on the Sunday following Black Friday and the day before Orange Monday (or whatever the Internet shopping day today is called) because of the aforementioned need of foodstuffs and dry goods.

I suddenly feel trapped in a children's book "Are You My Mother" ...

Anonymous said...

Just so you know, there is a faux anonymous out there pretending to me me.

I am the one with the big tits.

Dianne said...

Gamma? Gamma Gwen?